If late at night there is a knock on your door and to your surprised question ‘Who is there?’ a strange voice mumbles into the keyhole ‘Police’ don’t expect to see intellectual faces that are usually shown in the police soap operas. It is difficult to believe if it wasn’t for their uniforms and credentials that these are the people who are supposed to enforce law in Ukraine. The uninvited visitors look more like those whose descriptions can be found on crime pages of the newspapers.

There will most likely be five men in civilian clothes and one in a uniform for you to have no doubts that they all represent lawful authorities. Usually the uniformed one is the lowest in rank. He was brought for appearances sake, to make the scene complete. He has no idea of what is going on, whose apartment he is in or why he is here. He was told to go and he went. It makes no difference to him where. The highest in rank among the other five is better dressed than the rest and shows in every way who the boss is. However, even he often has no understanding of the situation. He is just an officer of the law who is performing his task.

The way the late visitors look can’t help but amaze you and make envious. Well-fed round faces, not particularly burdened by intellect, radiate good health and faith in the happy future. Their eyes are shifty and furtive, the tone of voice is self-assured and impudent. They usually utter short phrases in a language that is a mixture of half-learned Russian and poorly learned Ukrainian. For an educated person to imitate their manner of speech is impossible. To be able to talk like that one has to be a cop himself.

Ukrainian policemen have their own dress code. Even in case they manage to get some good and expensive clothes they wear them in the most vulgar way. They never polish their shoes, seldom change their socks, always carry a folder under their arm and on special occasions pour half a bottle of cheap eau-de-cologne over their necks. The younger ones who have however worked for a few years in the system adore to decorate themselves with confiscated costume jewelry and golden chains two fingers thick. This, I assume, is the latest fashion.

When cops start knocking on your door the first thing you should do is check the time. If it is between 11 p.m. and 6 a.m. don’t pay any attention at them, no matter how insistent and threatening they might be. It’s not necessary to open the door after 6 a.m. either. I can only sympathize with you if the door to your apartment is wooden, not metal, and opens inside the apartment.

While the uninvited guests are trying to get into your apartment think of what might be of interest to them and hide it in a place difficult of access. Cops are terribly lazy, so nobody will move furniture or other heavy things. I also noticed that there is no logic in the cops’ actions. For example, neither during the first nor during the second search of my apartment they opened the walled-in safe just because they couldn’t find the key to it. However, they tore off the wooden panelling on the balcony and broke some furniture. Out of fury maybe or utmost zeal.

In case cops managed to get into your apartment you will have the pleasure of watching them brandishing a search warrant in front of your eyes and then turning the apartment upside down. The first thing the senior in the group will utter is:

Try to remember what they ask for and never give those things to them. All the money they manage to find are divided between them and then squandered on drink. Don’t be misled by the fact that the amount of money found in your apartment was registered in one of the forms: neither money nor valuables will ever be returned to you. As far as the documents are concerned some of them will most likely be lost somewhere ‘on the way’. Nothing is easier than this. During the search all the papers are put into the boxes marked ‘box 1’, ‘box 2’, etc. In the report the papers are described just as documents without specifying the details. Later on everything that can be used for fabrication will be saved and juggled and the rest - destroyed. There is no way one can prove anything.

For most Ukrainian citizens knocking about the smelly prison cells starts with the arrest at home accompanied by a humiliating search. Without a trace of shame the cops turn everything upside down, dirty the floors with muddy boots trying to make you believe they are looking for some very important material evidence. It doesn’t bother them if nothing of the kind is found. During the search such bustle and chaos reign that it isn’t a problem to wheel in an armored troop-carrier into the apartment.

Watching all these hectic activities members of the family are in a state of shock close to fainting. Witnesses are invited for appearances sake. Quite often they do without any witnesses at all. Any random names are put into the search report at a later stage. In case they do invite witnesses those are most likely the neighbors woken up in the middle of the night and frightened to death. The only thing they want is to be left alone. Having been brought into the midst of the poorly staged search performance they are not able to understand anything. The only thing that registers in their minds is the fact that their nice good-natured neighbor is a dangerous criminal. They have no doubt that if somebody is arrested he is guilty. They still don’t realize that it is only the court that can define if a person is guilty (or not). Before that nobody has the right to call the accused a criminal. No matter how willing one might be.

The search ends up with the usual suggestion:

- You’ll have to go with us. The authorities want to talk to you.

- What about? - You are trying hard to think of a suitable topic at 2 a.m.

- They don’t report to us. Let’s just get going.

- Shall I take anything with me?

- No, just your passport and address book. You’ll be back home today.

They lie not because it is necessary. They do it just out of habit, because they can’t do without lies any more. The only logic in their telling lies is not to scare you off and avoid problems with the arrest. From their experience they know what it is like to arrest someone who is very much against it. Especially with the kind of training they have had.

Usually people who happened to be unlucky enough to be invited to such a conversation at night don’t show any resistance and voluntarily follow their uninvited visitors hoping to sort out all the problems easily and return home quickly. They have no idea how they will be talked to behind bars.

If you happen to be the unlucky one and there is no way out for you, mind you don’t take your address book with you. Otherwise people whose names are in it might be in trouble. I managed to get rid of my address books by flushing them down the toilet. For cops not to suspect anything I took an old writing pad with the telephone numbers that were of no use any more. At the police station where I had been taken only one officer realized what had been given to him. He turned red with anger and started shouting at his subordinates. The following morning another group of cops was sent to search my apartment again. Those appeared to be no less curious than their predecessors. They took the kitchen table to pieces, removed the cupboard doors and looked under the parquet floor. The night visitors didn’t open the walled-in safe because they were too lazy to look for the key. The morning ones just failed to notice the safe. They were more interested in the contents of the garbage bin than of what there was in the drawers of my writing desk in the study.

So after the night search is over the detained one with the hand-cuffs on (or without them) is pushed into a vehicle and taken to the nearest police station where he disappears like in a Bermuda triangle for months and years. Sometimes for ever.

Complete absence of any information about the person who was snatched out of the family so unexpectedly is much more depressing for the family members than dirty footprints on the floor or messed personal belongings. Soon after the search the family discovers that apart from the things, which had been confiscated and listed in the report, there are many more missing. Not all of them were valuable. No wonder: cops are not particularly squeamish and steal whatever gets into their hands. Very often they don’t need what they steal, but their principle is “We’ll sort things out later and throw away what is of no use’.

When stealing cops are much more apprehensive of their colleagues than of other civilians who happen to be in the apartment. No matter how stupid the cops are they realize that friendship is something totally unknown in their midst. They live like rats in a cage hating each other and being envious of more successful colleagues. Civilian witnesses can be easily intimidated which is not the case with the colleagues who will report on them immediately.

From the moment of the arrest life passes into a different dimension. What are three days when you are free? Nothing. They may pass unnoticed. But behind the bars three days seem longer than years. I felt like breaching the wall with my head, committing something important or passing outside some super valuable information.

It is absolutely futile to hope for the objectivity of the investigation. In your criminal case file there will only be information characterizing you as an ‘anti-social element’ the only right place for whom is in jail. Later on when you are able to read your own file you might even feel like dropping a tear yourself.

While in prison I read Criminal Code and was struck by the concept which forms the basis of Ukrainian legislation. In my beloved country any person can be put behind bars for at least eighteen months based on the ‘strong conviction’ of the investigators. Can you believe it? Read the Code yourself.

Still there are far too many people who naively hope for justice and leniency of the investigation bodies. It is as good as asking a homeless beggar for a million worth credit. The main objective of the punitive bodies is to put a person behind bars and keep him there, the longer the better. Justice in this case is nothing but a wide-spread delusion. It is better not to count on it at all as it has nothing to do with the way things stand. Even if the accusation is obviously false and there is irrefutable evidence to support this, it is still not a good enough reason to let the person out of prison.

Releasing a prisoner means admitting somebody’s mistake that caused the imprisonment of an innocent person. No one wants to be held responsible for this. As a result the innocent continues to be kept behind bars. The longer the investigation the more chances there are to find some new reason for his detention.

Sometimes investigation bodies simply forget about a prisoner. I once shared a cell with Andrey Sh., an accountant by profession. He could have been sentenced to maximum four years of imprisonment provided his guilt had been fully proved. However, Andrey Sh. had spent over five years in jail waiting for the hearing of his case in court. Neither investigators nor Public Prosecutor’s officers were in a hurry to release the unlucky accountant.

Andrey’s case is not an exception. There are thousands of people behind bars in similar situations. It has become so common that nobody is surprised, people seem to have got used to such things.

I wonder who said that there are good and bad people in every profession. There is no doubt that every profession has a certain impact on the person’s state of mind, forms his attitude s and world outlook. A hole in the head as seen by a doctor and a mercenary means two different things. For people of different professions grass smells differently, even the sky has different color. Decent and honest people can’t work in the law enforcement bodies. It is impossible because of the specific character of such work. Those who managed to remain human and not become degraded have either left themselves or have been sacked. Today law enforcement bodies are the most dangerous and criminalized part of our society. Even the blind can’t fail to see it.

However, you are free to have your own beliefs even if they are far from reality. For me a cop has always been a cop no matter what other names he has been called. He spends most of his life within prison walls and whether he wants it or not inevitably turns into a uniformed watchdog.

Dogs that guard people’s houses are usually kept on a chain. Only this way they are any good. In the developed countries such chain is the Law which clearly defines every step of a uniformed beast armed with a club. Only a psychopath can let a wild dog loose and allow it to run freely around the house where children play. Regret will only come after the wild beasts, with their heads turned by impunity, bite a family member or a friend to death. No wonder few people are willing to visit such households.

In Ukraine uniformed dogs have no chain. Each of them interprets Law the way it suits him best making personal benefit most important. Their favorite pursuit is to look for suitable candidates to get some money from. They themselves initiated a criminal wave that has overflown Ukraine. It only proves a famous saying that a fish starts rotting from the head.

The first thing that strikes you when you get to know cops is their pathological greediness multiplied by ignorance. Watching them one will inevitably arrive at the conclusion that a head was given to a man so that he could eat, drink and swear, but never to think. No wonder Arthur Conan Doyle and his famous Sherlock Holmes hated policemen and mocked their stupidity and narrow-mindedness.

Being in prison is never easy but the time from the arrest till the end of preliminary investigation is the most difficult. Usually if a person is able to endure the first three days of interrogations and so-called ‘discussions’, he is most likely to bear everything in the future. In reality most people break the moment they are confronted with real danger. That is why the cops always try to get the necessary information out of prisoners during the first hours and days of detention while a prisoner is in a state of shock and is not able to control his actions. So the way you behave the first three days in prison will define a lot of important things in your future. It is during the first few days that your fate is being decided.

Afterwards, when preliminary investigation is over and your criminal case is absolutely clear, you won’t be needed any more. Like some material that has been put through the mincing machine you won’t be of any interest to anyone. You’ll be thrown on the dock and the sentence will be read to you.

But this is in the future. Now you have to struggle for the most precious reward - your life and freedom. You’ll be pressed hard into becoming a badgered, cowed beast. Newspapers and TV will hysterically call you a criminal, your family will be subjected to a shower of lies and abuse. And all this is being done with the only purpose: to break your will-power. It is the core of your personality. The rest of the qualities, either good or bad, are secondary to it. Those who strive for success have to train their will-power. Severe trials always come when you expect them the least. If your will-power is broken you can’t go on fighting, you are doomed.

Trying to find the right way is terribly exhausting. It is difficult for the prisoner to be in control and make an unbiased assessment of the situation. Many fatal mistakes are made at this point. If you feel that you are losing control make yourself relax for a time. Only the one who doesn’t act makes no mistakes. Try to lie down on the floor and forget your troubles. Relax your wrists and eyes. It will help to recover your health and restore your strength. Try to recall how you felt watching snowy mountaintops or raging ocean. These images may help to force the unpleasant emotions out of your mind.

You are not the first one who all of a sudden finds himself behind bars. During the first stage of imprisonment your task is very simple: stand your ground, don’t submit to any provocations, watch your tongue. Learn to keep silence if you want to live long. Any sound coming out of your mouth will be used against you.

In Ukraine a person doesn’t have any right for defense. He can be kept at the police station as long as the cops consider necessary, without food or warm clothes. Only once a day, when a prisoner is taken from the cell to the toilet, he can drink some water from the tap. He’ll have to forget about a mattress and learn to sleep on the cement floor, get used to do without small but necessary things like toilet paper, for example.

A Russian writer Victor Suvorov in his book The Aquarium maintains that crack police force work through the beating techniques on the prisoners sentenced to death who are called ‘dolls’. I would hardly agree with this. Firstly, these people are so weak and exhausted after a long imprisonment that they can’t be of any interest to uniformed professionals. Secondly, why make things so complicated? Every day prisoners are tortured, mutilated and get killed by cops. Without any investigation or hearing in court. Cops don’t care if a person is guilty. They are ordered to make a prisoner talk and admit his guilt, so they try their best. If the accused is a female, rape is not uncommon. According to their primitive logic all females are whores.

As long as a prisoner persists in his unwillingness to speak up, the investigator won’t show up and the orderly officer is not able to give an intelligible answer to the question if such and such is among the detained ones at this police station put by the frantic relatives. The answer only becomes clear after the stubborn prisoner has been talked to ‘the right way’.

The dirtiest routine work is performed by the cops who are proud to represent the so-called ‘inquest agencies’. All of them are incredibly cowardly. They like acting like ‘heroes’ when a crowd of their lot taunts a cuff-linked prisoner. Avoiding the prisoner’s face they hit him where no marks can be seen. Such method of dealing with a prisoner is called ‘a discussion’.

Indispensable ‘participant’ of such discussions is a rubber club which is quite harmless compared to a baseball bat. Baseball is practically unknown in Ukraine but cops don’t seem to be embarrassed by this. A wooden bat is most suitable for hitting the spine, heart area and kidneys which are the cops’ favorites. More care is taken when hitting the head, mainly on the crown or the back of the head. Before doing so the cops usually put a thick book on the head to avoid cutting it badly and staining their uniforms with ‘criminal’ blood. The Code of Law suits this purpose the best: it is thick enough and usually has a hard cover. Besides, it is always at hand. I had the impression that The Code was purposefully published for “discussions’ with prisoners.

Cops, as a rule, don’t suffer from excessive imagination and ingenuity. In different Ukrainian towns same methods of ‘discussions’ are used, the most popular of which are hanging a prisoner on a crowbar and ‘swallow’.

‘Hanging’ is most simple and effective. A prisoner with his hands cuffed behind his back is hanged on the crowbar. Under the weight of a prisoner’s body humeral joints become twisted. Now and then the cops ‘check’ with their clubs if the prisoner’s liver, spleen and kidneys are still in place. The prisoner is usually kept in such position for a few hours, sometimes for almost a day.

The ‘swallow’ has a slight resemblance to a well-known yoga exercise. The prisoner’s hands and feet are twisted behind and hand-cuffed. In the simple version the prisoner is just left motionless on the floor; in the more complicated one he is hanged to the ceiling with his chest fractured. As far as fingers are concerned cops hardly ever break them; if they do it is usually on the left hand only because the prisoner will need his right one to sign the interrogation record. So you don’t have to worry about your hand-writing.

Homo sapiens have never been too good at endurance, especially if they had to suffer pain. Most prisoners admit everything immediately and sign any papers just to be left alone. They typically think: ‘I’ll admit now, but then refuse everything. Things will be sorted out in court and I’ll be set free’.

Naïve fools! Can’t they realize it will be too late then? In court nobody will care. Courts are heaped up with criminal cases, court assessors are physically not able to read volumes of criminal cases. Judge, as a rule, only looks at first statements given during the preliminary investigation and based on those, gives a sentence. Judges usually disapprove any changes of evidence and treat them as ‘an attempt to avoid a well-deserved punishment’.

A few words about confessions. The more confessions a prisoner makes the more he is beaten and mutilated because by confessing what he is asked to confess a prisoner justifies the criminal actions of the uniformed beasts. To disfigure an innocent man or a criminal who confessed all his crimes are two different things. That is why those who confess trying to avoid torture are in fact doomed to further torments. According to cops’ logic if a prisoner started admitting things after they pressed him a little, he will certainly tell more if pressed harder. And their clubs continue whining over the head of an ill-starred prisoner to his sincere screaming: ‘Why?! I’m yours! I told you everything!’

Thanks God you are different. You persist in keeping silent and refuse to sign anything. The cops get nervous. They have certain time limits and if they don’t succeed in making you speak they will get a good scolding from their bosses. So they go out of their way not to let you come to your senses, to make you stop thinking and start admitting. Once a prisoner is able to analyze the situation pressing him becomes much more difficult.

Try to think this way: confessing is easy, you can always confess but what is the point? First of all, as you already know, you won’t be left alone, on the contrary the cops will double their efforts. Secondly, frank confession will extenuate your guilt but not reduce your term of detention. I don’t think you are too bored with freedom, are you? Or maybe you are eager to know what real imprisonment is like? Then lock yourself in a cell and stay there without any food or drink.

I am joking. Don’t get mad. Though I can see you are in no mood for laughter. You got yourself into a pretty mess if the cops decided to experiment with your head and a wooden bat. Unfortunately the bat always happens to be a bit stronger. So do whatever is possible - imitate a heart attack, pretend to lose conscience, squeeze a tear - to persuade the cops that:

- they have overdone their bit before they have actually beaten you to death;

- you physically are not able to give evidence even if you wanted to;

- mutilating you is useless and might cause problems to your ‘butchers’ in

the future.

Remember: your main task is not to let them break you down. There will be a lot of abuse; you’ll hear a concise version of the dictionary of obscene words. Don’t pay any attention, listen to them as if to the radio. It won’t occur to you to argue with the radio, will it? Or to throw a pot plant into the TV screen when it shows the face of a beloved president.

Nothing doing - life is like a chess board. One wrong move and you have been checked.

(Omar Khayam)

The world hasn’t changed much within the last millennium. In between the interrogations you will have enough time to think about it.